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[itsme]

Operator:'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller:'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

Operator:'What sort of trouble??'

Caller:'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator:'Went away?'     

Caller:  'They disappeared'     

Operator:'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller:  'Nothing.'     

Operator:'Nothing??'

Caller:  'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator:'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller:  'How do I tell?'

Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller:  'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator:'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the  screen?'

Caller:  'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator:'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller:  'What's a monitor?'

Operator:'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller: 'I don't know.'

Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller:  'Yes, I think so.'

Operator:'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller:  'Yes, it is.'

Operator:'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '

Caller: 'No.'

Operator:'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller:'Okay, here it is.'

Operator:'Follow it for me,and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'

Caller:'I can't reach.'

Operator:'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller: 'No..'

Operator:'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'

Caller:'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's  because it's dark.'

Operator:'Dark?'   

Caller:'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'

Operator:     'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller:'I can't.'

Operator:'No? Why not?'

Caller:     'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator:     'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller:'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator:    'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it   up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller:'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator:     'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller:'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'   

Operator:    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'